For Your Entertainment

Things heard around the Gilford house lately (all from Jordan, of course):

J: Mommy, I have a new girlfriend at church.
Me: You do? What's her name?
J: I don't know. Tomorrow, you'll have to drop me off at church and I'll ask her. She has on yellow.

Me: Jordan, pick up some of these toys.
J: Mommy, does "some" mean a little or a lot?
Me: All of them!!!

J: Mommy, sometimes, if you go hunting without a gun and you just go up the animal and say "hi," that's nice hunting, right?

(Uncle Lucas is the regional director of the Wild Turkey Federation and we have recently watched Bambi, so we have lots of questions about hunting and I have to figure out a way to say that even though hunters are always bad in cartoons and on Disney movies, they aren't necessarily bad in real life. And even though guns are bad on TV and we aren't allowed to have toy weapons, soldiers use guns and they aren't mean. And I'm obviously not an NRA member and would be pretty happy if guns didn't exist. Parenting a almost 4 year old is complicated.)

J: Mommy, Trevor said he wants to _________(fill in the blank with whatever you think Jordan might be wanting to do at the time - go to Nana's, paint, play outside - note, Trevor, of course, doesn't talk)

J: Mommy, I'm going to stay here by myself today.

J: Mommy (or Daddy, or whoever he might be mad at), you can't come to my birthday party.